Wockey Pool Hall of Fame/Shame
If you travel to the back of Mount Rushmore where they dumped all of the excess rock leftover from Lincoln's forehead, there you will find a spot roughly 594 miles away from Minneapolis, MN, where the Wockey Hall of Fame/Shame resides on a computer server in the garage of a guy named "Feb".
The Hall of Fame, of course, is dedicated to those grand masters of Wockey, the fabled Wockey Champions. No one is quite sure if they actually exist, yet they miraculously cash their winning checks every year. Beginning with last year's Wockey Champion, this is your Wockey Hall of Fame!
Wockey Hall of Fame
Jason Kuss, 2013 Wockey Champion
A former intern to Commissioner Walker (though in a slightly more professional environment than the Wockey Pool), Kuss learned everything he knew from Alex Walker. Upon realizing what a horrible mistake this was, he immediately forgot everything he knew, won the Wockey Pool, and became an internet star.
2012 - Aaron Soroka - A friend of the Wockey commissioner since the two met in 2nd grade, Aaron knew upon meeting Alex that some day he would win an embarrassing contest of sporting wits against his new friend. If only he would've realized how trivial and shallow a victory it was, he would have immediately asked his mother to move them to a different part of the country.
2011 - Zac Pease - Pulled into Wockey by the previous year's champion, co-worker Jennifer Toll, Zac proved his dominance by winning the Wockey Pool and then by savagely beating a garden weasel, though only winning the Wockey Pool was really called for.
2010 - Jennifer Toll - The first and only woman to ever win the Wockey Pool, Jennifer immediately used her winnings to go out and get a sex change operation.
2009 - Kevin Jewett - The only two-time Wockey Pool Champion, Jewett has since used his prognostication skills to accurately predict when he will go to jail for avoiding taxes on his winnings.
2008 - Kevin Jewett - Didn't you just read the one above? What more do you want from me!
2007 - Alex Walker - After winning the inaugural Wockey Pool, Walker thought running this thing might be a great way to make a little extra money. He finished 146th out of 147 in 2011.
Wockey Hall of Shame
The complete antithesis of the Hall of Fame, the Wockey Hall of Shame celebrates those who we're thankful that we're not, the worst of the worst, the "turdiest" of all Wockey competitors--the Wockey Puckheads. The Wockey Puckhead is a dishonor bestowed upon the last place finisher in the pool every year and serves as a reminder to the rest of us that we might not have it so bad after all. Here now is your Wockey Hall of Shame!
Elena Luoto Meister, 2013 Wockey Puckhead
Putting forth a performance the words "atrocious", "ghastly", and "sickening" would be too light to describe, Elena set a record that cannot possibly be broken when she failed to select one correct winner during the 2013 pool. Once known as the Wockeyite responsible for bringing international relevance to the pool (she lives in Paris), Elena's reputation will henceforth be regarded as the Puckheadiest of all Puckheads.
2012 - Joe and Estella Frye - As embarrassing a feat as achieving Wockey Puckhead status is, Joe discovered a new level of ignominy when he claimed his two-year-old daughter Estella actually made his picks. For this disservice to parenting and humanity in general, we were forced to award both Fryes the dishonor of Wockey Puckhead.
2011 - Zach Walker - Zach barely eked out oldest brother Alex for this title. Yet in the end, Zach proved that in a family filled with vagrants and losers, he was the most puckheaded of them all. (Actually, this video proved that long before he earned the official title of Puckhead)
2010 - Brian Ringham - Yet another member of the Walker clan who proved his utter ineptitude at selecting college hockey results. Of course, the year before he nearly won the thing by having a two-year-old pick names out of a hat.
2009 - Chris O'Connor -Receiving perhaps the most racy gift in the history of Wockey (think Sisqo), O'Connor needed a full year to recuperate before re-entering the Wockey Pool. Weak, man.
2008 - Chris Smith - Cocky and brash by day, when Chris Smith puts on his college hockey thinking goggles, he becomes as weak as an infant, an infant who would still have the wherewithal to pick better than him.
2007 - Joe Dufek - The first Wockey Pool in history proved that picking college hockey games can be baffling as Dufek, a professional sportscaster by day, ended up being the first Wockey Puckhead.